Letting Go of Who I Think I am

Another fairly personal post…

Spending a lot of time with God this weekend.   Something that came to me, as I asked Him to make me into what pleased Him.  I’m blocking His work by holding on to what I think of myself!

How much time are we encouraged in this world to spend thinking of ourselves, defining ourselves, saying, “this is who I am and what I do and what I’m for”.  I’m all ABOUT that.  Unfortunately I’m so all about that that I can finagle any personality test into the results I want, and my preconceived notions have wrapped themselves ’round me and are keeping me from moving forward.

And they wrap me into sin, sometimes.  Hit James chp 2 today, where it says to not be a respecter of persons.  Do you do this too?  Do you look at people *like* the type of people who have hurt you in the past and immediately distrust them and hold yourself away from them?   If I read that chapter on the surface, I’m … well, I’m okay.  Not perfect, but efforts made.  But when I read it today, after getting conviction about holding myself away from potential hurt because of what those people look like… dang if I didn’t get hit between the eyes.

I need to see with Jesus’ eyes.  To see each person as a potential sibling in Christ, to be curious about them and open to relationship* and interested.  The reverse snobbery, “That person doesn’t want me, so I won’t open myself to that person” has to go.  If I’m going to be brave for Christ, I have to drop the “respect of persons” and just let Christ shine through.

And yes, I’m hoping to be one of those nutso holy people who wanders around shining God’s light like a blinding sun, someday.  Can’t do that if you draw the shades for fear.  Can’t be afraid of rejection.  Just have to be, and let God worry about what I am.


*Dude.  I’m so married it’s not even funny.  Relationship includes friends, acquaintances, people-you-witness-to, etc.  I *have* a husband, and I’m not talking about that.

2 thoughts on “Letting Go of Who I Think I am

  1. fiberaddict

    This strikes a chord with me. What I have been trying to do (especially in the past…..well, months) is, when I think about someone who has hurt me, I say a quick prayer asking Adonai to bless them and their family. I’ve noticed that it’s helped me to not be bitter, and I have forgiven them. And I’m willing to reopen the relationship without baggage (I think, anyway. Relationship? Sure. Baggage…..hopefully without.


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