I’ve been wrestling for a while about what God’s will for my life is. Well, sorta. I know what I want to do *in part* and I know that God has blessed that… but the time is not yet. I don’t know what God’s will is for the things that bring in the cash, not after I exit the season of part-time work.
And the waiting has been hard on yours truly. I’ve been fighting like a fish on the line, flipping and flopping every which way, trying SO HARD to “do the right thing”.
I finally, finally thought to ASK. “How does this work, Lord?” D’oh. Is anyone else out there like me, you totally forget to be a child with your Father and just ask Dad how this is supposed to play out?
And I’m directed to a sermon by Voddie Baucham about determining God’s will. And he NAILED me to the wall… all the ghosts in my head just got slammed with a truth bomb. God has the will that we know about – follow His laws, read your Bible if you’re vague on the concept. He also has His private will, His Sovereign plan for the universe. And that’s NOT OUR BUSINESS.
I feel so free. I’d been trying to figure that out, stressing myself out that everything that didn’t work out as *I* had planned meant that I was outside of God’s will, screwing things up SOMEHOW… even though I’ve been through His Word a thousand times, sifting to figure out what I could possibly, possibly be doing wrong.
God knew that 2020 was going to be a screwed up year. That 2021 was (although I’m promised restoration) starting out *hard*. Real hard. Awful weeping crying nasty hard. He didn’t start me on something *I wanted* because He knew I’d need the brain cells for what has come, which I did not – but which, I have faith, will lead to good (I know, because Romans 8).
I feel like the modern church gets out of whack on this really easily. 1) just because of the way the World feeds into us constantly and 2) because a lot of folks are reaping what they’ve sown because they are, in fact, NOT following God’s revealed will for their lives. “I’m sleeping with my girlfriend and I don’t feel like God’s blessing my relationship”. No, really? Wow. -rolls eyes-
But if we say, “if things aren’t going right for you then you are in the wrong” you throw dirt on every martyr. Every man or woman who has been honorable and gone through ugly times. Every parent whose kid has died too young. Everyone persecuted. IT’S NOT TRUE.
So we are responsible to examine ourselves and see if we are in the faith – if we are walking in God’s law for our lives, if we are believing His Words about ourselves, if we are loving each other and our enemies. We are NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR OUTCOMES. God is responsible, both good and bad. (Yeah, that former is a bit pinchy, isn’t it? Gotta give Him the glory for what works out, if you let the Potter mold you, the clay… you’re just clay…)
When you’re talking to young Christians (maturity wise), you gotta start with, “you reap what you sow, there are consequences to sitting in sin”. But eventually you have to move past that to, “God never promised you a rose garden…. in this life”.
Anyway. I have some sittin’ and talkin’ to God about the other thing Brother Voddie brought up – if you want to know what you should do with your life, look at your skills and desires and gifts etc, then pray about it and search God’s Word. I know my Bible, so it’s time to sit with this intentionally and carefully and ASK. I might just get enough light for this moment, but that’s fine. I could use some light on this moment.