Went to a afterglow a month or so back… one of the Words given was to do with accepting that God’s grace is for your whole life, not just salvation. Hit me, though diagonally… because I know that God’s grace is sufficient, but I’d gotten myself properly guilted up about ‘working harder’ with the gifts He’s given me… and I was a mess. Too many obligations undertaken, too many stressors. And then I had one heck of a first half of the year.
I’ve learned a few things, though these make me uncomfortable. But like new shoes, I’ll break them in and get used to them…
- Just because there’s work that needs doing, doesn’t mean I’m the one that has to do it. Not every broken heart is mine to cherish. God will tell me when I need to move, and that’s where I can do good. Otherwise, I’m wasting my time.
- I can’t fix everyone.
- Sometimes the best response is to step back and pray. People have to be ready for help – you can’t force them. When the moment is right, God will make time for it.
- Don’t schedule every moment of your life, because then you have no creative time and no wiggle room.
- Remember that I’m on that priority list too (see below) and I don’t need to drop what I’m doing for any and every interruption.
- Boundaries are good things.
- I am a creature of seasons – I do a lot of one thing at one time, then put it on the backburner and do a lot of something else. That’s okay. I get a lot done, and it’s not possible to do all the things, all the time.
I just finished a time of fasting and reflection… well. Not reflection. I honestly just fasted and asked God to unwind my head. I *thought* I’d be doing my usual reflection thing, but that door was firmly closed. What happened was that I fasted, and God answered prayer, tidied up loose ends, gave me some hand-wisdom/crafting-wisdom and let me be in deep peace. I didn’t even get called for intercessory prayer until the last moments… it was a “weird” fast. It was good though. I think I’ll be doing more fasting, more regularly, going forward… I hadn’t much, recently.
Priority List – I know I’ve mentioned this a time or two, but this one of the big things I gleaned from the pastor I sat under when I was a teenager. (Pastor Koole, thanks where-ever you are). He gave us the first few items on the list, I’ve filled in the rest. As someone who is very easily pulled off my path by the needs of others, this is *extremely* important for me. It keeps me on task, on keel.
- God (This doesn’t mean Christian Work, this is my relationship to God, my obedience to His commandments, my commitment to Him).
- Me (self-care)
- Close family -> Close friends
- Occupation (including Christian Work)
- Other People
Yes, I’m going to drop my writing work if my mom needs me – but if she just wants to chat? I’ll call her back. And *that’s okay*. I’m not an evil, selfish, horror because I don’t give everyone unlimited access to my time and energy. And I’m not an evil, selfish horror because I spend time at the gym – even a lot of time at the gym. My top three are taken care of – just because it would be convenient for someone lower on the pole if I didn’t play with so much steel, that’s not really something I need to change.
It’s going to take some work to break in these “shoes” – but I’m getting the idea. 🙂