I’ve been sitting and thinking about my “new goals” for 2022 and being completely bogged down because, quite frankly, the last couple of years have sucked insofar as making the changes I’d like to see made. Here’s a metaphor that actually happened. We’ve been trying to gradually beautify and stabilize the hillside in our backyard. There’s your goal. To that end, we planted some herbs that get on well with our climate and soil. Fed them. Sprayed their bugs. Put water on them. And…. then our uphill neighbor poured poison on one of her trees (or possibly our passionfruit vine) and there’s a stripe of death down the hill instead of a stripe of flowers. Even managed to kill off a mature rosemary. That takes work, people. Did we have a goal? Yes. Did we do the work? Yes. Did we get the outcome? No. And that’s how it’s been. I know it’s not just been for my fam, because hello 2021 – but there she be.
So, I asked God for my word for the year, and He said, ‘transformation’. I eyed that up and down and sideways and said, “was that You, Lord?” and then I sucked it up and looked at my calendar and said, ” He wasn’t even joking”. If *nothing* on my 2022 goals list happens, if I do *nothing* of my own, I won’t be in the same place in a year as I am now.
This year, my younger child graduates HS and turns 18. My older child is picking schools to apply to for his last two years of school, he’ll get his AA in the Spring. I’ve changed my job radically in 2021, and in 2022 I’ll see a lot more change (and a lot more to do) at work. Oh the irony – I failed to launch my last book properly or get my image consulting business rolling because I hate self-marketing. Guess who’s doing the marketing for people who pay me? I’ve learned a lot and continue to do so – and I’m wildly outside of my comfort zone. With my kids as grown humans now, everything changes professionally and personally. My husband has some goals for the two of us that are dependent on being parents of adults… so there are those too. I’m closing up a 21+ year season of my life. At the end of next year, I’ll turn 50.
Of course I have goals, I have assignments. I’ve got another book about half written, and I plan to finish that and get it to a real publisher. I need people to read this one more than I need to get the money from it, I need it to go into the world and make ripples. I have the post-foot-surgery and 2021 stress weight to take off. I have to get the kid through HS and survive all the nonsense around graduation – two graduations! – this Spring. I have clothes I want to sew – and I have a lot at my jobbyjob that I want to make happen. New things to be done, old things to be done over properly. (I really *like* the people I work for and I want their products to do well – plus I believe in the products. It’s a weird feeling, really wanting your bosses to win, totally outside of one’s own ambitions). So much to do…
So, “Transformation”. I’m tired, I’m scared, 2021 sucked. I’m NOT ready. But that really doesn’t matter at all. I can get on the surfboard or I can get pounded by the wave – but either way, I’m not going to be where I am today when you read this blog 12 months from now.
I don’t write here that much anymore, so subscribe at hearthrose.com, that’s where I’m putting up the interesting writing. And we (Els and I) have a chatboard over on locals. Come visit there. https://historicalfemininity.locals.com/ It’s free, I keep putting up a coupon code to get conversation going and it will stay free until it’s busy enough that I need to be paid to keep it moving.
To Transformation – the butterfly is out of the chrysalis and drying her wings, soon she will fly.