God willing: Becoming more … alpha?

We should bring back the phrase, “Lord willing”.  Moderns of all stripes put far too much emphasis on being self-directed and self-realized, when we have nothing to do with most of the variables that we plan our days and years around.   God controls *everything*.

James 4:14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and also do this or that.” 16 But as it is, you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. (NASB)

So.  I’ve had that tiny little snippet in the back of my head to post…. and God throws me a curveball.

I’m in a transitional place, my life-seasons are changing around.  And my husband has made it clear to me that he’d like me to become much more dynamic – more alpha, if you will.   (My husband is extremely dominant.)  He wants to see me take action, follow through on things, make things move.  I *hate* that stuff.  I’ll make a plan, I’ll do the work, but …. pester other people to work?  Ugh.  But he wants it – and that’s where we are, with a young teen and a tween.  I need to put some fire under all our rears.

The good part about this is that I know that in my flesh I can’t do it.  Straight up, it’s been tried before, I get cranky, I get domineering (rather than dominant), I get OCD – nothing good.  I know that my flesh can’t do this.  BUT – I can do anything through Christ who strengthens me.   So I’m going to have to lean on Him!  And nothing but good can come from that.

I’m supposed to be doing this with church and with my social life too – church wants me to run a Christian book club in my house.  And I am learning how to do social conversation – I do *know* how to be charming… I just find it tiring/boring.  But all things through Christ’s strength – I can’t bless anyone with my gifts of encouragement and counsel if I’m staring at the clouds or at my purse the whole time.

Seriously – between God and the hubs, I feel like I’ve been sent Athol’s list of Alpha traits to work on… “wear makeup” “be charming” “work out/find a sport that you enjoy” “follow up, follow through, make it happen”.   Nothing my head doesn’t understand… a whole lot that my slothful heart would just as soon not mess with.

Ironic, much – to write so much about surfing God’s will and just following the wave where it leads, and find that it leads straight up a steep slope?

Ah, our Lord does have a sense of humor!

 

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5 thoughts on “God willing: Becoming more … alpha?

  1. donalgraeme

    So basically he wants you to act more like a First Officer. Challenging work becoming that way… but worthwhile.

    11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
    and he will have no lack of gain.

    27 She looks well to the ways of her household,
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.

    (Proverbs 31:11, 27)

    May your works be praised in times to come.

    Reply
  2. Elspeth

    He leads, so he wants you to lead something. And you can do this Hearth. Of that I have no doubt.

    A dominant man wants a wife who is submissive to him, but not necessarily submissive everywhere. That’s the feeling I’m getting from my husband of late, anyway. Does that make sense?

    I saw how much SAM appreciated it when I took on a teaching position for this upcoming year. It speaks something that I am not normally given to. Being willing to be in charge, or putting myself out there in real life. I work well, but from behind him.

    Which is fine in its place, but men who do more want their women to do more, I think.

    Reply
    1. hearthie Post author

      Yes. Does that mean I can come get a hug from you occasionally before dashing back into the fray? 🙂 I promise to return the favor… 😀

      I have been in the supportive role for a very long time – aka making a soft fluffy nest for DH to rest in – and stepping up to lead TOO is a challenge. I’m sure God will enable me to follow my husband’s instructions, but growth is never *comfy*.

      I think I will call you on “pet me for my minor accomplishments” if you don’t mind. 🙂 I know it’s lame but then again – “growing” sort of implies I’m not there yet, right? 🙂

      Reply
  3. Pingback: Random Musings And Links- #2 | Donal Graeme

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