Something that bothers me

Slightly OT for this blog, but this bothers me…

As a parent, I want to give my children every advantage that I can.  My husband works so I can stay home and do the things like drive my kids to places where they can be around other kids, go to the charter school HS, sit at home and keep an eye on the smaller one… you know.  The things.  I watch their diet, nag them about exercise, and keep a sharp watch on what they see.  Filling them with good stuff and keeping the bad stuff out – that’s my job.

But there’s part of life that is now a huge advantage for my kids, and it breaks my heart.  Not because I don’t want my kids to have it, but because it breaks my heart that other kids don’t.  It shouldn’t be an advantage.

My kids have a mom and a dad.  They know both of us!  My kids have a mom and a dad – they see us both every day.   My kids have a mom and a dad, and we love them.  My kids have a mom and a dad, and we love each other (and are demonstrative about it).  My kids have a family that puts the group ahead of individuals, where the members of the family enjoy doing nice things for one another, and work to take care of each other.

All that *should* be normal.  It’s not.

There are so many things in my kids’ lives that should be normal – and they’re not.  Did you see that study about how having a parent who read to the kids when they were little was a huge boost?  Why is that a huge boost?   Who isn’t doing… oh.  Oh.

Usually I try to write blogs where I give some idea of “what comes next” or some such, but I don’t have anything.  I just wanted to say – I notice.  I notice that the bar of achievement has been set so low that what you want to do is not trip over it.

The haves and have-nots of the society that my children will inherit won’t be the haves and have-nots of just money or power…. they will be the haves and have-nots of the riches of a loving family and good childhood.

I don’t regret for one second that my kids have these things, but oh. My heart bleeds for all those children who do not.

8 thoughts on “Something that bothers me

  1. Jenny

    I have to step back and tell myself, “it is good for the kids to have a dad”, whenever he does things in ways I would never do them..

  2. Feminine But Not Feminist

    To say “it’s sad” doesn’t quite cover it. I was fortunate to have both parents too. I had a good, stable, loving home. Apart from the first 6 years of my life when my Dad was in the Navy and therefore couldn’t be home all the time, I had both parents living in the same home as me. And there was never a time where both were working outside the home, so I always had someone to watch me so I didn’t have to go to daycare. I wish all kids could know what that’s like. But alas, too many selfish adults care more about what they *think* they want than they do about what their kids need.

  3. fuzziewuzziebear

    You are doing your part with your own family. It’s up to the parents of other families to do their’s.
    It’s all right that you feel bad but, control the things that you can.

    1. hearthie Post author

      Sure. Just hurts to see how it’s rolling. And the after effects, the assumptions of reality based on experience – oy. That’s going to affect my kids, and nothing I can do about it.


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