I was going to link the song, “I get knocked down, and I get up again” but it has all the drinking references so … nah. But that’s what this feels like. You get your feet properly under you and -wham- you get knocked for a loop. Then you take a minute, get your feet under you, and stand back up.
I read my own last post, and … yeah. That. Mercy and Grace and leaning on God. Yep. But God’s pounding it into my bones. I.Cannot.Do.This.On.My.Own. Total dependence on Him. And… a lot of revealing of sin I didn’t know I had. Stuff that needs dealing with, when the sun comes out again. Well, that’s what storms are for – to reveal what needs fixing.
The mercy and grace for others I’m learning is a thing based on my own stupid flip outs (hey guys – sorry!). Well, *I* don’t think the stuff I’m flipping out about is stupid – but if it’s not your flavor of fear, you probably do. And likewise. I am still not worried about getting Covid. I tell y’all – I had something very similar last summer. It REALLY SUCKED. My whole family had it. But … it really sucked and we got through and we’re here and … yeah. Whatever. You know?
But my fam is basically healthy. I wouldn’t want my dad to get this, or even my mom. (Dad almost-got TB and used to be a smoker, both of my parents are in their late 70s). So – I get you, people who are afraid of the illness. And I’m getting pounded to get that mercy into my heart, not just in a polite smile. (Things I’ve learned: It’s really hard to be merciful when you’re angry).
We have to be willing to love – agape – people who aren’t just like us. To get into their heads and see their hearts and love them. Maybe love ’em in spite of what’s in their hearts. But at least go there and say, “but for the grace of God go I”.
I dunno. Real talk, I’m ready for this to be over so I can fix the roof and prepare for the next storm. But I guess I’ll just keep putting out buckets and paying attention to how the wind sings through the eaves.