Go ahead. Ask God for direction – and mean it. See what you get….
I feel like the last few years of my life have been an industrial-strength bootcamp insofar as developing my faith muscles is concerned. “I’ve got this”. “Good, um, You wouldn’t like to give me a timeline or method?” “Nope”. “Right. Good. Thank you.” This business of radically changing my life as I move into this next season of existence* is no exception.
“What are you doing next?” Dunno. “Where?” Dunno. Except every day I’m being refined, moved from total ignorance one step closer to having a clue. I feel like a chess piece. Every conversation I have about work gives me a little bit more information, every task I take on situates me a little bit closer to the goal. I do have a goal. I want to make enough money to pay for the increased expenses of this new season in life – and I don’t want a job that sucks my soul out and returns nothing in its wake. I’d like to do something I find interesting, and work somewhere I can be truly useful/helpful, not just a warm body. Oh – my job should be flexible, I’m still on mom patrol to some extent.
It’s not just this, you know. I’m getting prayers answered – and “I’d really like to find…” supplied that never made it to a prayer. Things I’ve been waiting years for are dropping off the trees around me. Ministries I’m involved in are evolving… it’s like EVERYTHING around me is in a season of change.
Since I’ve been praying for this for years, it’s pretty exciting. But you think I’d have a clue. You’d be sooooooo wrong. I don’t know what God is doing. I know He is faithful. I know He wants my best, and now is the time of change/movement. Faith muscles? Still working out like crazy.
I’m being walked along with a blindfold on … babied every step of the way. I’m grateful. But this is one trippy experience, folks.
*The kids get to move to greater autonomy while I move back to a more supervisory role – less sitting on their heads and doing for them, more helping them learn to do for themselves (and the family).