Those of you who follow my assortment of blogs know that I’ve been pretty frazzled of late. This weekend I had an opportunity to go to the annual women’s retreat that our church runs, and I got de-frazzlified. Sort of, at any rate. 😀 (This introvert has had enough crowds and strangers for a **while**. Always remember that anything that CC runs is extrovert friendly, so for “retreat” read “conference”). I have my center re-centered, the “why are there PEOPLE everywhere, and why are they so noisy” will die down in a bit.
Anywho. One of the myriad (intersecting) lessons I brought home was, “be not weary in well-doing”. Totally not the theme of the conference.
I’ve been working hard in several different veins this spring and summer, and it seems for all my hard work, nothing is happening. There is a very long list of souls that I pray for … and I don’t see change. Just, there’s a lot of stuff. I’m a busy rabbit, always trying.
This was the first verse that God sent my way this weekend:
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
Trust. I do trust God, but … my trust was being worn thin. I was trying to control the Almighty, control His timing, control His works. Why do we seek control? Because trust is waning. Whatever your mind might say, the grasping for control is a sign that your heart is moving away from confidence.
Very much like Toad in this children’s story (http://lcps.k12.nm.us/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/FrogandToad.pdf) I had forgotten that it might be me who sows the seed, but it is GOD who gives the increase. Completely. And I’ve had some fun with that metaphor and gone deep, and I’m planning to go deeper still. Not today.
I can’t judge my “goodbunnyness” by the harvest, because harvest time isn’t now. How am I supposed to know if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing? By knowing the Word of God and the Will of God, which I do.
Galatians 6:9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10 So then,while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.
For me, it’s been a weekend to refresh and remind myself to trust in God. Not just with my head, but with my heart. My Heavenly Father will take me where I need to go – and it’s not ALWAYS the dentist, I can loosen up a bit. I need to relax and return to a sweet expectancy. I am reminded that God is the One who gives the increase…
I Corinthians 3: 5 What then is Apollos? And what is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, even as the Lord gave opportunity to each one. 6 I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth. 7 So then neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but God who causes the growth. 8 Now he who plants and he who waters are one; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. 9 For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, God’s building.
This weekend was a time of refreshment, a time to remember to look to God, not this (extremely) fallen world. And not to worry about the harvest, just to keep doing what I do, what God puts in front of me to do, and get on with it. God’s got this – and He is blessing me greatly. (And to not get stressed out and get in the way of blessings either, because I don’t feel worthy. Whatevs, God does what He wants and I’m just going to enjoy).
More trust. Less control. More joy. Did you know that a lack of trust strangles joy? It does.
It was a good time. There will be more.