Why this isn’t a “how to wife” blog

  1. Because my gifts are encouragement and counsel, not teaching.  This blog is all about the exhortation.
  2. It’s been done.  Done well.  I don’t think I have anything new to contribute to the voices of good wives elsewhere.
  3. It doesn’t interest me en masse.  If you want helpful hints, ask.

And the big one – if your vertical relationship with God is right and tight, then all you need is tools and instruction, and your horizontal relationships will be as good as your efforts can manage.    Because if you love God, then you’re obeying Him, and you’re loving (agape) your fellow believer, which would include your spouse.   You might need some practical hints, but you’re willing to do the work, whatever it is, to be rightly related to them and thus obedient to God.

I don’t have anything NEW to say about wifing.  Mostly my advice boils down to “don’t be a brat”.  Only because I don’t swear, or it would be a different word that starts with b.  Honor your commitments to God in how you honor your commitment to your husband.  If you really take that concept and run with it – maybe you need a practical hint (use the hammer, not the screwdriver!) but you won’t need much to get and stay sorted.

And that’s *when* my marriage went from troubled to tight.  When I really got obedient to God, when I got that vertical relationship right… everything else (eventually, sometimes painfully) fell into place.

I’m happy to give you advice if you need some tools.   But if you aren’t right with God, if you don’t really want to obey Him and do right by your husband, I can’t help you.  Not that I *won’t* – I can’t.  I’ve come across some awesome tools in my day.  But they’re just tools.

I read “good wife” stuff from time to time.  I read guys’ blogs from time to time.  It’s all about maintenance and getting fresh ideas and reminded about stuff I’d rather  forget.  I appreciate the art, I just don’t participate.  Not my gig.

I’d rather encourage you to have an awesome relationship with God.  And just babble about whatever theological tangle comes to mind, hoping that folks will come and comment and help me untangle myself or peel me off the ceiling, as appropriate.   This is meant as a mixed sex blog.   Y’all just come and hang out and talk.  Argue with me or agree with me or show me a facet that I’ve missed or … whatevs.  Iron sharpeneth iron.  Throw coconut cream pies at me for all I care.  We’re family here.

Anyway.  That’s why this isn’t another wife blog.

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2 thoughts on “Why this isn’t a “how to wife” blog

  1. Elspeth

    One thing I found out about doing a “how to wife” blog (which is why I stopped doing it) is that it is all too easy to find yourself 1) forgetting to widen your lens beyond your own experience, 2) rehashing the same old same old and 3) unwittingly stepping into discussions about when and why this or that Biblical command might be excepted. Oh, and 4th and most important- I felt a very, very strong spiritual prompting to stop doing it.

    The problem with #1 is that my marriage and my husband are unique.

    The problem with #2 is that when you get down to it, “Obey God, obey your husband, and die to yourself can only be said so many times and so many ways. Believe you me, I have tried them all!

    The problem with #3 is strongly tied to what you said about trying to promote wife-hood from a Biblical perspective sans a commitment to bedrock truths, especially the inconvenient truths. You inevitably run into brick walls and spin your wheels.

    So IMHO, you do what you do here very well. Even though I sincerely believe you would do a better job than 90% of the Christian “how to wife” bloggers out there (including me during my time doing it), there isn’t a need for more of that. If we in the church were committed to that vertical relationship the way you described, we could actually do with far, far fewer such sites.

    Reply

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