Just one of those things… I guess I thought everyone did something like this, but I’m trying to remember that not everyone is me.
My husband is out of the house on the order of 12-14 hours, 5 days/wk. We are -shock- not the same people, and we don’t have the same priorities. So. I run the house and the kids… but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to come in and “break” one of my rules. This is how I deal. This is how I have always dealt, and this is how we don’t have a big fuss about this in my house. Again, I thought everyone did something like this, but apparently other people like confusion and discord. Those things give me a headache, both literally and figuratively.
“Mommy is the boss of you (speaking to the kids). Daddy is the boss of Mommy. Therefore, whatever Daddy says, goes.”
So if something wasn’t allowed (or was) on Monday, and on Tuesday, after Daddy has made his feelings known, it is either now allowed or not allowed – that’s what I say. This is how I keep the rules clear for the kids – nothing more confusing than rules that change – and how I teach them about authority. It’s also a good example of obedience.
Oh, and it makes my life a lot simpler.
*Don’t be dorks. If there is some factor, some information that my husband doesn’t know about and is relevant, I tell him. I’m not a fluffball, there are usually reasons behind the ways I set things up. But we do that privately! And then he still makes the final decision, by which I abide.
Hands, Heart, Hearth 
-Applause-
Link worthy, too.
In our house, when our daughter seems to be having a hard time remembering who gets to be in charge, we ask her: Who’s in charge? “God.” And who after God? “Daddy.” And who after Daddy? “Mama.”
When she says she doesn’t want to answer the questions, we know that she knows she’s wrong. But we make her answer anyway, because when someone in authority asks a question, you answer.
This may be off topic, but I wanted to ask if there is an email support group of some kind for wives whose husbands will no longer live with them as wives, and they are working on keeping the family together for the sake of the children. (such as, support when tempted to drift elsewhere, advice on how to keep busy so as to not bother their husbands who have made it clear that they aren’t to bother them, things of that sort).
No. I don’t think you need an email support group, I think you need to take yourself to your church elders and your family elders with this issue. You need pastoral counsel ASAP.