I’m riding on a euphoric high right now, as I’m watching what the Lord is doing around me and just rejoicing and praising Him… and praying that He keeps ripening this fruit!
So I’m probably not going to be at my very most linear. Hold on and enjoy the rollercoaster with me. 🙂
I have this awesome lady in my church, and she challenged me to do what all us old-school Christians know never to do – pray for patience. I took the challenge. And God has been having the best fun at my expense (which I am totally enjoying and laughing with, because God is cool). Making me wait and wait for good things that I know are in His will – seriously, people – He’s had me waiting for opportunities to serve Him! But timing. Timing. Guess I need to serve Him by being available for my mom and BFF until… oh. Until He has me scheduled in to start ministering. (BFF should be done with the nasty chemo and my mom up and able to run her own errands right about the same *week* that I’ll get a mentee. Yeah. Wasn’t on *my* daytimer. Omniscience. Gotta love it.)
And I’ve been praying for folks to come to Christ or come on Home … well. Yesterday I got a call. One of the folks I have been praying for *and not pestering* decided to join me at church tonight. Totally out of the blue. And I have another friend… well. Fruit’s starting to ripen. Fruit that I’ve wept over, in some cases.
Totally independent of my pestering. Just … you know, praying. And waiting, not especially patiently.
What’s the fruit? Other than disorganization and the desire to grab y’all and bounce around excitedly in a circle? (Yes. I do this. Yes, I’d do it if you were here. There would be squealing. I know I’m 42. Your point?) (Yeah, just fruit on the tree gets me this excited. It comes ripe and I’m going over the moon.)
Faith. *MY* faith. Because you know, when you’re praying for folks to come to Christ, you’re never sure what His answer will be? That pesky free-will stuff? And then you stress out – did I pray for the right thing? Did I pray for X when I should have prayed for Y… did I screw it all up?
And I got rolled back and thought – you know… the Holy Spirit prays through us, with words that can’t be spoken. He takes our pathetic prayers and hears our hearts and translates to God. And He is God. And God is good, not evil, and He doesn’t give His kids scorpions when they ask for bread. And *why* would God let me shed a tear over someone He didn’t want me to pray for? I’m His, He could distract me. He shuts me up all the time when I want to pray for stuff I oughtn’t.
And my faith has grown this past week. Grown so much. God *has* this. God has my loved ones. God loves them more than I do. And I don’t know why *I* have to pray for them to get saved or come back Home and what part my prayers play or don’t play… and I’m starting to see a tendril of gratitude for that! Maybe I don’t need to know. Maybe I just need to pray and rejoice and thank God for what He has done, for what He will do, and have a little faith.
Patience? Yeah. It’s a little scary to ask for something that you know will stretch you. But it’s worth asking. The growth that comes is all joy. If I could share this euphoria with you, I would. And I feel … rooted more deeply. I’m excited to pray harder, to ask for more souls, to beg for more opportunities to serve. Being a part of God’s plan is INCREDIBLE. And I *don’t* need to know how it works, I think I’ll “settle” for euphoric participation.
It’s a good thing. 😉
Can I get a hallelujah?