You go off and ask God to change you in massive ways… and then get all confused when you find yourself doing different stuff than you’re used to doing. You wonder, “Why can’t I…” and get disgruntled when the answer comes, “because you know perfectly well you don’t really want to”.
I ask God to help me with my idol of approval – and then get disgruntled with the process. The start of the process (at least) is uncomfortable – it involves being brutally honest instead of hiding behind bland smiles. And then people think I’m miles away from my actual position. It’s like… I’m supposed to learn to care less about what people think and people don’t think the correct things about me! Harumph! Yeah. DORK.
And I don’t know why it was super important to write this tonight but apparently it was. -laughs-
If no one else finds my writhing amusing, *I* do. I’m a dork. 😉
But you knew that.