I’ve had an interesting few days, and I ended up last night with a more visceral understanding of faith. I need to write this down before it drifts off… it’s important.
I was doing something that God meant me to do. Something that God, apparently, made me to do – it’s in one of the categories of things that I do a lot of. * He arranged – that my time with my friend would happen at all. He arranged every bit of our time together, scheduling things that I didn’t know needed to be scheduled, making things work together that simply should not have worked, and God gave me the energy to work through sleep deprivation, which is not one of my strong suits. I come out of the time with my friend and … my laundry is on target, the house is still reasonably clean, good dinners were made every night, even my TG grocery shopping got done. My life for the past four days has been so well orchestrated that I laughed inwardly more than once.
It’s in the Bible, that all things work together for good, to them that are called of God… but it’s so easy to tie yourself into a ball of questions, “what good, whose good, what’s going on here, this isn’t fun…”
From my exhaustion came an inward peace. It’s not very verbal, but is very certain. I’m going to work on sharing this with you.
Faith is – showing up and doing what you’ve been asked to do, and not worrying about how it’s all going to come together.
If I get up every morning and do the tasks, say the words, that God has put before me, then I’m done. I don’t have to worry about combining my efforts with the efforts of others or stressing about praying just the right phrase or … whatever. I can do what good has been set before me to do, and then rest assured that God will settle the consequences.
I’m not off the hook for doing my best, not in the least. I am off the hook for the worry associated with daily life. The future? Not my problem. God’s got this. More and more with my prayers, as I bring things to His attention, the response is, “I’ve got this.” I show up, I do my best, and I stop worrying about it.
This helps me, as I have any number of friends who are unsaved. My friend who came to visit is at least functionally non-Christian. I pray for them – and worry that I’m praying the right things into their lives. How silly! God isn’t a djinn, waiting to twist my words (and only responding to exactly what I ask). God is a benevolent, all-loving father who wants the best for all His children. He wants souls in His kingdom. Does that mean that all my unsaved friends will end up in Heaven? I doubt it. But He will make good of what He asks me to do, and He will use me according to His good will and good purposes. And they are GOOD. Not whimsical or cruel or designed to play headgames with us. They are good.
I’m not putting this as well as I’d like… I’ll keep trying to develop it. Ask some questions of me, that always helps clarify things. 🙂
* Does anyone else really enjoy doing the things that they were made for doing? Even when those things aren’t totally easy? Just like a runner really enjoys running, the feel of the muscles straining… I enjoy doing the stuff I was meant to do… anyone else feel that way?