I had a good wander through the Dover catalogue today. My reaction to nearly every page was, “Oh pretty! I could do something with that!” This life, however is finite. I can’t really do something with everything I see, because I don’t have the time. However inspired I might be by Chinese embroidery, it’s unlikely that I’m going to learn to paint with a needle. I love blackwork, but I’ve other things to do.
I would love to raise a sheep, milk it and make cheese from the milk, shear it and spin the wool, weave the cloth and sew it up. Spend days on the moors with a trusty sheepdog hiking and letting the cold wind turn my cheeks pink. I would love to plant an orchard and watch it grow, harvest the fruit and put it up. Take the fallen wood and carve a mantle covered with briarroses. I’d love to learn to dance, to sing, to play the harp. I would love to learn Latin, Greek, Russian, German, Celtic… and every other language I’ve ever heard of. I want to swim the depths of the sea and dance with whales. My eyes caress the mountainsides, wanting to walk every step.
My eyes want to see every beauty, my ears want to hear every song, my hands want to create and participate in goodness. So much beauty there is in this world. Even this flawed, damaged world… there is so much beauty. How many paths have I not tread? How many sights have I not seen?
I understand why atheists make bucket lists, I just don’t understand why bucket lists don’t fill them with abject despair.
I believe that we were made to create. If made in the image of our Creator, and His likeness… well, how then are we not creators in our blood and bone? I believe that we were made to delight in beauty. Beauty *is* one of our Lord’s hallmarks, one of the ways that we can see where He has been. Why should I not hunger to see all of what He has made? To delight in His creation, which shows forth His glory, reminding me ever of Him?
I have all of eternity to create. I know that part of the time as another dimension means that I cannot now conceive of what “eternity” really means, because it may seem more like one moment than an infinity of time stretching forward. But should I be transformed into something that can step in and out of time… would that not give me more time to play with?
I say “no” to nothing that is not sin. I merely sometimes must say, “not now”. A precious consolation as I stand my ground, do the tasks that have been given into my hands for this instant. Just because I’m not supposed to chase my own dreams doesn’t mean that all that is good in them will not be fulfilled. My God is faithful – and He created the hungers in my soul.
Someday………….. someday I will dance.